You remember the tale of the tortoise and the hare. The hare was born with the natural gift of speed. The tortoise was, as you know, slow and plodding – excessively so.
As the tale goes, the tortoise and the hare decided to race. The hare, much impressed with his own speed and agility, ran around in circles, took a nap, read a book and in various ways demonstrated how fast he was and how little attention he needed to pay to the silly race. The tortoise, you remember, stayed the course, focused on the task, placed one foot after the other and a variety of other idioms. While the hare played the fool, the tortoise won the race.
But the story continues.
After they retired from racing, each went on with their lives. Life for a tortoise is about 100 years. Life is slow and dangerous for young tortoise. Hares on the other hand have short lives but they breed like – well – like rabbits. So many generations of hares are born during the life span of the tortoise. Family lore is shared and the young learn the lessons of their parents. Here are the lessons.
Tortoise lore is that slow but sure wins the race. Tortoise young are told to run your own race. You may not be the fastest, the prettiest or the most nimble but if you keep your goals in mind and move towards them you have perseverance and tenacity on your side.
The young hares learned that life is not fair. Oh the first generation heard that pappy hare had fooled around and because of his foolishness had let the tortoise win. But after several generations the message was that the hare should have won and it just wasn’t fair. The hares started noting all of the things that did, or could have gone wrong that robbed great granddad hare of his rightful place in history. Eventually the lesson became this: stuff will happen and you won’t win but it is never your fault. Baby hares are used to report card remarks such as: Harry Hare could be an honours student if he applied himself; and Missy Hare could do better if she was not so easily distracted. In the absence of evidence they and their parents believed they could be the best.
In 2012 the great race organizer decided to test the hare and the tortoise. The race this time, to be fair, was not head to head but rather a timed event. The winner would be the one who beat his own historic time.
On the day of the great race the families of the fastest tortoise and the most nimble hare gathered to witness the event. Two identical courses are laid out, the starting gun fired and they were off. The tortoise moved on, one foot in front of the other, heading towards the goal. A tree had fallen across his path and he sighed and moved around it. A sign was misplaced on the path and the tortoise took a longer route than he should have but eventually found his way. The race keeper neglected to tell the tortoise that he would need sunglasses and so the poor tortoise had to squint as the sun set directly ahead. Still, in the end, the tortoise arrived at his destination. He looked at his watch and thought – well that is the worst performance of my life. What happened? He remembered the things that went wrong, and wondered if they were things he should have done differently. He noted to carry sunglasses in the future. The sign and the tree, he concluded, were beyond his control. He forgave himself for not doing as well as he had hoped.
The hare looked at his course ahead and ruefully thought to himself that he could win the race in a heartbeat but something will screw it up for sure. Since it is not going to go well, there is no sense pushing too hard and so he headed off at a loping pace. He encountered a tree across his path and thought – see that is why I won’t do well. I’m sure that will be taken into consideration at the end. When he encountered the misplaced sign he immediately called over the race organizer. “Look – I can’t possibly do well in this race if you are careless and fail to give clear directions. This is your fault and I want you to note that on your clipboard please.” When the sun started to set the hare sat down and refused to go on until he could see without squinting. He again called over the race organizer. “You should have provided sunglasses. You knew this would happen. It is not fair to expect me to run in these conditions.” At the end of the race the hare did not do as well as he had expected. Still, he was very satisfied that none of it was his fault and he could have done better if other things had not interfered.
We all have times when we do not do as well as we had expected. Things happen. The difference is in how we respond. Some will look back at their path and see things they could have done better, lessons to be learned for the path ahead. They will acknowledge that bad things happened that got in the way – they will check their own responses to the bad things and forgive themselves. And then they will move on to new challenges. Others, like the hare, will spend their time proving that the fates conspired against them and they could do much, much better. The hares relish gathering the proof that they could have been successful – or they moan about how life is unfair.
Each individual can define success for themselves. Then they can succeed – or take satisfaction in and enjoy the misery of knowing why they didn’t. You choose: Tortoise or Hare?