It is important that businesses have policies and procedures. And as an accountant I believe in controls. But here is a story of inefficiency and ineffectiveness.

I seldom use the library services at the college where I work (as this story will show). But yesterday I came across a reference to an article that I thought I might like to read. Since I was at home I tried to access the off-site library service. I couldn’t remember my pin number and had to call the library lady.

The library people were very helpful (I have always found them to be polite, friendly and helpful). They gave me the numbers I needed but I still could not log on. “Oh”, she said, “I see your account is blocked. Let me look into that.” I heard voices in the background and she returned to say: “Your account has been blocked because you have a charge against your account.”

I chuckled, thinking perhaps I had a late fee of $1 which, with compound interest, and given that I haven’t borrowed anything in years, would now be a staggering $2.50. But I stopped chuckling when she said it was for $300.00. She went on to say that I had not returned a VGA cable.

Pause for dramatic effect.

I had no recollection of ever borrowing a VGA cable, which is not to say that I hadn’t done so. Certainly I knew that I had not ignored requests to return said cable so I was, to say the least, surprised to find my privileges being restricted. It was embarrassing. Library lady was kind and unruffled but could not lift the block because it originated with Educational Technology (ET).

So today I called ET and spoke to a woman who I have known for many years. (She was unfailing polite and easy to deal with throughout this saga). I told her I had a black mark against my name and she said: “Oh it is probably about a VGA cable.” After some conversation about how I could not imagine when I would have ever borrowed a VGA cable [since I have one with my college laptop] I asked approximately when this supposed theft had occurred.

Another pregnant pause….

1997.

It is entirely possible that I accidentally kept a cable (which has a tracking number attached). But let’s consider the possible remedies available to ET:

(a) call the person who borrowed it

(b) email the person who borrowed it

(c) speak to the person who borrowed it when you see them in the hall

(d) send out an email to everyone asking if anyone has cable xxx

(e) put a $300 fine on their library account. That will get their attention.

I’m just glad that termination wasn’t an option.

In the end, the extremely nice person in ET removed the black mark from my name. Thank you.

I want to repeat that this episode was pleasant and pain free. Everyone I spoke to was polite and friendly. However, if the problem is missing VGA cables (or other equipment) surely there is a more effective and efficient way of dealing with it.

My friend pointed out: “Well, they clearly were not trying to collect the $300.”

To which I replied, “Nor were they trying to get their missing cable returned.”

So what, may I ask, was the point of this exercise?