As 2012 draws to a close I’ve been thinking about what the future holds and I remember a conversation I had with my friend Dianne. We were talking about success and she announced, with a small frisson of pleasure, that she would know she had “made it” when she was a guest on the Oprah show (sadly, now defunct).
Success defined by the interviewer. But, Oprah has no intrinsic appeal to me. Jon Stewart however – the Daily Show. Yeah – that would work for me!
No disrespect to Ms. Winfrey. She is, I think, a brilliant business woman. She is funny, articulate and beautiful. Millions love her, idolize her – read what she reads – watch what she watches. She is warm and caring. I just don’t want her interviewing me. (Oprah, if you are reading – of course I would say “YES!” were you or your people to actually call.)
I just think that her warm, caring, interview style would not bring out the best in me. I would be too busy wondering if what I said, whatever I had done, was all as perfect as Oprah. Would I be found out as a fraud – another James Frey – of A Million Little Pieces fame? My back story would not be compelling enough – I would be tempted get creative – or worse – tell all. I’m afraid I would disappoint her.
Jon Stewart, on that other hand, is upbeat, sarcastic and funny. He is brilliant with a razor-sharp mind. And he just seems so darn friendly. He’s the type of person you want to meet at a party or be introduced to in a bar.
Anyone who can laugh at the world without trivializing events and at the same time lament the folly of it all must be a fine human being. And he does all that without seeming to take himself too seriously. How do you stay humble when the world seems to think you are wonderful? I promise to try really hard, if given the opportunity.
While I would fret over whether I was truly worthy of Oprah’s attention I would be terrified that I would miss one of Jon’s verbal serves. What if I dropped the ball? What if I was (gasp) not witty? I suspect there may be alcohol available in the green room – or maybe in the ever-present coffee cup on the set. That would help.
Well, it is unlikely that I will ever attract the attention of the likes of Oprah or Jon. My fame is limited to dominating the web when I Google my name. (Admit it – you do it too). 
Sadly, I will never be famous.
But on the other hand – there’s still time.
Happy New Year!
UPDATE – July 23, 2015
August 6th is fast approaching and I have to resolve myself to the sad truth that I am not going to be a guest on the Daily Show. I’m fairly sure I would have heard by now if they were going to ask. Maybe they lost my email. Sigh. I’m sure I am not alone in feeling the overwhelming unfairness of this.
More importantly – I will miss Jon Stewart. I hope we can keep our sense of humour and perspective when Jon no longer shares his unique world view.
And darn it. Now I have to find a new way to measure my fame.